Cranberry Lemon Cake with Lemon Icing

Monday, January 9, 2012 42 Comments

2Lemon Cranberry Loaf1 Cranberry Lemon Cake with Lemon Icing

I got attacked by a seagull. And I do not use the term “attacked” lightly. It was Hitchcockian.

Let me tell you what happened. And then we’ll talk about cranberry lemon loaf.

I was starving after my Sunday yoga class. I thought I’d stroll through the bustling Granville Island market, and find something for lunch. I did. I found a delicious bratwurst with sauerkraut, fried onions and spicy mustard. Bratwurst in hand and not a seat to be found, I thought, “why not go eat on the dock?”. Live music, a nice view of the boats, and a momentary break in the rain. So off I bounced toward the wet benches, ponytail swinging happily behind me.

About 20 steps onto the slippery landing, a deafening screech ripped through the air. I barely had time to emit a gurgling scream of horror as a seagull the size of a twenty-five pound turkey dive-bombed my bratwurst. His evil razor sharp beak was wide open, tongue vibrating with the piercing shriek, evil beady eyes bulging, ugly pink feet scraping my head as he went in for the kill.

Now, I am not one you want to tussle with over food. I take it very seriously. My limbs still agile from seventy-five minutes of downward dogging, I managed a wild and dramatic twirl and duck.

Bratwurst safety secured? Negative.

3Lemon Cranberry Loaf Cranberry Lemon Cake with Lemon Icing

The screeching, flapping, terrorizing gull did a wide circle and swooped once more. I attempted to dive out of the way, but my foot slipped on the wet pier and I felt myself sailing through the air, ass-over-teakettle.

Sauerkraut flying in all directions, I went soaring in slow motion past a crowd of stunned faces until I collided brains-first with the wood, followed by my elbow and hip.

I suppose I could have protected my head by landing hands-first, but in that split second I decided my sausage was more important than my melon.

When I eventually recruited the strength and courage to peel myself off the gull-poop splattered dock, the musician had stopped playing. Everywhere I looked, people were gaping. My drink had exploded all over me, and I had fried onions in my hair. The good news is, my clever instinct to save the bratwurst by smooshing it heartily into my chest was successful, except my white coat was well-smeared with spicy mustard.

Humiliated and in pain, I limped past my captive audience back inside and plunked my dirty ass down at a table already occupied with a family of tourists who were made very obviously anxious by my crazy-eyed, sauerkraut-smelling presence. I ate my smushed-up bratwurst while they stared bewilderedly and whispered rapidly in what I think was Ukranian.

Not one, but TWO families were documenting the incident with handycams. One lady even came in for a closeup of the mustard smear. I will be obsessively searching for “crazy sausage lady attacked by seagull” on Youtube for the next few weeks.

4Lemon Cranberry Loaf Cranberry Lemon Cake with Lemon Icing

Let me just tell you, dear seagulls: this is not over.

In this war of Jenn vs. bird, and you should be shaking on your knobbly little pink legs.

I swear on my now birdpoop-streaked yoga pants that if I had a gun, I would be limping back to Granville Island right now to get myself the makings for seagull pot pie.

Instead I am icing an ugly bruise, muttering bitterly about birds, and drinking wine at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Ahem.

One day, gulls, I will get even. Watch your beaks.

Okay, now let’s talk about lemon cake with cranberries and lemon icing.

Lemon Cranberry Loaf Cranberry Lemon Cake with Lemon Icing

With it’s upbeat yellow hue and bright flavour, this cake is pure sunshine on a gloomy Vancouver day. It is almost cheery enough to offset the emotional damage inflicted by a seagull attack.

I used meyer lemons (which are slightly sweeter than regular lemons, rounder in shape, and more orange in colour), but you can use standard lemons with equally wonderful results. I adore tart lemon desserts, but if your tastes err on the sweeter side, you may opt to reduce the cranberries to 1 cup or omit them completely.

For a moist, well-risen, perfect cake, be sure your ingredients are all at room temperature; measure your flour accurately by gently spooning and leveling (rather than scooping, which will cause a dry cake); preheat your oven fully; and be gentle when folding in the cranberries.

Cranberry Lemon Cake with Lemon Icing

For Cake:

  • 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • 2 tbsp finely grated lemon zest (from 2 lemons)
  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice (from 1 lemon)
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 1 1/4 cup sugar
  • 4 eggs, room temperature
  • 1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Grease a 9×5-inch loaf pan, or line with parchment paper. In a medium sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside. In a separate bowl, whisk together sour cream, lemon zest, lemon juice, and vanilla. Set this aside as well.

2. In the large bowl of a standing mixer, beat butter and sugar on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, until fully incorporated.

3. Reduce mixer speed and alternatively beat in 1/3 of flour mixture, followed by 1/2 of sour cream mixture, and repeat, ending with the last 1/3 of the flour mixture. Be sure to pause the mixer occasionally to scrape down sides of the bowl. Use a spatula to gently fold in cranberries.

4. Spoon batter into prepared loaf pan and bake 55-60 minutes, until top springs back when lightly pressed or a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes in pan, then transfer to a cooling rack. Cool completely before icing.

For Glaze:

You may use more lemon juice or confectioners’ sugar as desired to reach the consistency and sweetness you like.

  • 1/4 cup lemon juice (from 1 lemon)
  • 1 cup confectioners’ sugar, sifted

1. Whisk together lemon juice and confectioners’ sugar until there are no lumps. Drizzle over cooled cake.

  • http://sunshineandsmile.com/ Kankana

    Lemon cake has always been my all time fav and when you mix cranberries in that .. i can only imagine how yummy it would taste! 

  • Cawobeth

    ummmmm… … … …  ♥

  • IrishJenn

    I’m so sorry you were injured while defending your lunch from a mad seagull. Does it help at all that your story provided me with my first full belly-laugh of the day? 
    Like you, I love all things lemon. I cannot wait to try this recipe.
    Wishing you speedy healing.

  • http://cupcakemuffin.blogspot.com/ sara

    This looks amazing! I love lemon and cranberry together, what a delicious cake! :)

  • Charles

    Looks gorgeous. Quick question: I have a small jar of dried cranberries in my pantry I’ve been wanting to use up — is substituting the fresh for the dried cranberries doable? Will I have to add in additional liquid?

  • Anonymous

    That would be fine, Charles.  You might want to plump them up in some boiling water first, but otherwise you wouldn’t need to add any liquid. 

  • Anonymous

    It does help, Jenn.  I’m glad something good can come out of my suffering! :-)

  • Kelsey

    I don’t usually comment on these kind of things, but your trauma drew me in… I’m from Vancouver, but am currently living in England, so you’ll forgive my taking that heinous (but hilariously portrayed incident) as a small piece of home. The cake looks delicious as well! Nice to smile, despite being at your expense. I hope you get your revenge!

  • Anonymous

    Haha thanks Kelsey. Hopefully the reminder of Vancouver horrors makes you a little less homesick! :-)

  • guest

    Too funny, as a kid we took a ferry to school each day.  Seagulls divebombed us with droppings and would flock to fight over any food scraps the kids threw out on their wait on the float. Your experience brings back memories of childhood.  Just know you have fellow victims that have a deep loathing for sea gulls.  Rosemary

  • Laurel

    I love lemon cake and that one looks completely wonderful. But the reason for the comment is that I am appalled that nobody stopped to help you. No one tried to bat the bird away, or even helped you up? No, just videotaped it. You are not the crazy bird lady. You are the only human in a sea of monsters.

  • Anonymous

    I truly appreciate your empathy, Laurel!! I had included a line about the fact that no one even asked if I was okay, but backspaced it thinking I sounded too bitter… 

  • Laffymilk17

    Is there anyway you could use Ocean Spray’s canned cranberries instead of fresh?

  • Helen Shideler

    Ah ha ha haaaa – still laughing -sorry – but I can  see  you and hear you and the gull in my mind -and oh- thiswill most likely  be my favourite loaf!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve only ever seen canned cranberry sauce around these parts… so that would be a definite no! I’d use frozen over canned, in any case.

  • Anonymous

    I am very happy to know I have friends in my new found loathing of seagulls… :-)

  • http://atasteofalaska.blogspot.com/ Toni

    Oh my, still laughing out loud.  I don’t know what I love more, the story, the cake recipe or the fact you went for a sausage after yoga!  Those seagulls don’t stand a chance…

  • Ambika Viswanathan

    The cake looks beautiful. Citrus is always good!!

  • Anonymous

    Ha! I was really hoping nobody would notice that last thing… ;-)

  • Oreo_cookie_21

    Thank-you for my smile for the day,very discriptive in your struggle ,so easy to imagine the fright as well as the fight….to the bittersweet end…Your recipe is also easy to imagine how  it would be share your recipe and a laugh with friend.Keep smilin….

  • Hayley Roe

    I haven’t even got to the cake part yet, which I’m sure is deliscious – I can’t see through the tears of laughter let alone be allowed near an oven. Truly witty and hilarious…you had me at Hitchcockian.

  • Paulineoleary

    Oh my dear niece, you simply must take up writing professionally. This is the funniest account that I have heard in years! We NEED someone out there doing this type of story telling…hilarious in every sentence.
    And btw, I will make this cake…i just happen to have everything on hand ..
    And we love ya lots.
    God bless,
    Pauline

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Hayley :-)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Aunt Pauline! :-) Let me know how your cake turns out!

  • Jesica Edisanto

    I love love love the colors there. Definitely moist too! :) Pictures do not lie.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks, Jessica!

  • Truly Aesthetic

    Ohh that was hilarious!! Those seagulls are the worst!  I remember back in school during lunch they would scavenge everything left over but one had the gall to swoop by and steal my fresh slice of pizza!  So when you make that seagull pot pie, please include an invitation for me haha! :)

  • http://macaronsandmuses.wordpress.com/ Tam

    I made this last week as a treat to bring to my classmates for our early morning classes.  Unfortunately I under baked it (long story…) and didn’t realize until an hour later when the center was ominously sunken.  I nearly wept at the waste of such beautiful ingredients and lemony delicious goodness.  Ah well, I cut around it and the parts that were done were amazing and I can’t wait to make this again.

  • Anonymous

    Your invite’s in the mail. But better yet… grab a gun and join my army!!

  • Anonymous

    Aww, bummer… But don’t throw out the middle! Serve it warm with ice cream….

  • http://www.foodess.com/2012/01/chicken-stew-with-apples-and-cabbage/ Chicken Stew with Apples and Cabbage | Foodess.com

    [...] course, the blog post was this close to being called Seagull Stew with Cabbage and Apples. But let’s not go down that road [...]

  • http://unhipsquirrel.blogspot.com/ Unhip Squirrel

    Jenn, this is the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read!! I can just picture it! You crack me up SO HARD.  And, your cake looks divine… as usual!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Nicola :-)

  • http://maxinewolodko.wordpress.com/ Maxine

    I have been looking for a great lemon cake recipe – I must try this! Sorry about those creepy seagulls…

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Maxine!! (FYI everyone else, Maxine is my favourite Vancouver Artist – click her name to check out her website!)

  • Maxine

    Thanks Jennifer. You are too kind!

  • Dori

    That was hilarious !! Great writing ! I read it out to my boyfriend, we were both laughing !! I will bookmark this site for sure ! I miss Granville Island but not those damn birds

  • Anonymous

    Damn birds indeed. ;-)

  • Paulineoleary

    Just made this for your aunt Joan who is visiting this week…loved it, and it turned out picture perfect!
    Many thanks
    Much love,
    Aunt Pauline

  • Paulineoleary

    Just made this for your aunt Joan who is visiting this week…loved it, and it turned out picture perfect!
    Many thanks
    Much love,
    Aunt Pauline

  • Anonymous

    Glad you liked it! Love to both my aunties :-) xox

  • Adelina Principe

    Made this today! So yummy :)